The Stranger Inside

Man, does it feel like it has been so long since I've had a good day. With everything going on in my life, I haven't come out of my head in weeks. I have been obsessed with learning about ADHD and relating to as much of the information as I can. I have learned a great deal, but I have also only  been thinking about it. I have read articles, joined groups, listened to podcasts and found Reddit. My goodness, Reddit is a rabbit hole, but it has an amazing amount of support. Any question or thought I've had, I've been able to find it on Reddit. Right now though, it's a long weekend and I've decided to take a break and spend some time relaxing.  The first week of Vyvanse has been difficult. At first, I didn't feel much of an effect. Then, once I increased the dose, I felt worse. I was getting headaches and not sleeping. I read [on Reddit] that if you're too tired while taking stimulants, it only helps you to get to a state of awake and doesn't do much to ...

I envision a life ... a life that I do not have.  I could of had it all. I had opportunity, but I did not have the proper tools. I struggled. I wanted to fit in, I wanted friends, I wanted to understand. Part of my problem growing up was that I didn't understand the same way that others did. I always felt older than the rest. I didn't build connections the same way. I didn't have parents like others had.  Now, let me stop here and insert some mid-30's wisdom here; I am not pretending to know what was going on behind closed doors at everyone's house. I can only speak for my own experience and explain how I felt. I also know, now that I have children, that sometimes what parents hope to provide for their kids, just isn't possible, and kids often see that as unfair.  But school was something else. I was an excellent speller. I could write and my cursive was impeccable. I was the tallest kid in my class for most of elementary school, so right off the bat I felt diff...

Welcome! As I start this journey of self reflection, cautionary tales and new beginnings, I hope you find some inspiration and commonality. I'm just me. This is just my story. But it's quite the story and I wanted to share it. Enjoy!